


Eyes Wide Open

by emoedgelord



Category: Free!
Genre: Adulting, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Post Break Up, Realization of Feelings, Slice of Life, Slight Smut, dumb boys in love, haru is big dumb, mako is friendship goals, makoharu - Freeform, mh, past rinharu - Freeform, rin's feelings are valid, slight angst, tagging this as explicit just to be safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:20:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24158755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emoedgelord/pseuds/emoedgelord
Summary: Loving someone doesn’t always guarantee a happily ever after.Or the time Haru realizes that he’s fallen out of love but then gets it right eventually.
Relationships: Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto, Past Matsuoka Rin/Nanase Haruka - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 68





	Eyes Wide Open

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to my friends: 
> 
> for serina, the og makoto simp
> 
> for christine, who abandoned rinharu for makoharu, leaving me all alone in this hell
> 
> :3c

Rin comes home to their shared house later than usual, his cheeks tinged a bit red, wearing a self-satisfied smirk to his face. He heads over to where Haru was sitting, greeting him as he leans down to place a quick peck to Haru’s lips, tasting a lot like beer, before disappearing into their bedroom to change out of his outside clothes, “I’ll be right back.”

Haru waits patiently for him to return, his stomach filled with dread, trying to figure out the best way to even begin the conversation. 

All too soon, Rin returns, in an old school t-shirt and pajama pants that have seen better days. He plops down right beside Haru, shoulders bumping as he leans his head towards him, giving Haru his undivided attention.

“So what was that text you sent me all about?” Rin asks, “Got me shitting my pants when I read it at the restaurant. Telling me, ‘We need to talk.’ Like what was that about?” He laughs good naturally, “I didn’t forget to take out the trash again, did I?” Rin jokes.

“I want to break up.”

Rin blinks, “Excuse me, what?”

Haru sighs as he pulls away, putting some distance between them. His eyes trying to meet Rin’s before settling to just stare at his hands.

“Rin—,“

Rin is suddenly on his feet, as if the very thought of being in close proximity with him was so terrible. His ember eyes, wild and set ablaze before narrowing into a glare, Haru subconsciously shivers at the intensity of it, “Explain.”

And Haru does, as he goes on to talk about how they barely have time together, that they never see each other and how he’s starting to see the cracks in that weren’t there. And finally, that he doesn’t think that it will work out in the long run.

Rin goes quiet, looking anywhere but Haru.

“Rin, look at me,” Haru begs, standing and reaching out to him, and flinches as Rin physically recoils from him, pain in his eyes.

“I–, ” Rin breaths, shuffling backwards until his back hits a wall in a dull thud, “I can’t do this right, now.” He turns his back to Haru, “I’m going for a walk, don’t wait for me,” making his way towards the front door.

“Rin!” Haru tries to stop him, grabbing his wrists to slow him down.

Rin pries Haru’s fingers from him, pulling away, as he opens the door. He pauses, glancing at Haru’s devastated face, “I’ll sleep on the couch tonight. Let’s just clear our heads and we’ll talk about this in the morning.”

He leaves.

-

Mornings, Haru realizes, comes much faster when dreading something. He had barely gotten any sleep, constantly tossing and turning, and when he did manage a few minutes of it, he was plagued with wild scenarios all leading to Rin never wanting to see him again.

So by the time six a.m. rolls around, his eyes are dry and burning and he wants nothing more than to submerge himself in water. And if he drowns, well, that was his own damn fault.

Haru freezes when he hears movement on the other side of the wall, the telltale signs of Rin waking up and going through his morning routine. He flinches slightly when he hears the front door opening and closing, silently counting his blessing that his still partner had decided to go on his usual morning run. Hopefully to cool off and let out some of his frustrations before they get to discussing what had happened the night before.

Cracking open the bedroom door, he peeks his head out into the hallway, making sure that Rin had indeed left. Once satisfied that the coast was clear, he makes a beeline for the kitchen, to prepare his morning coffee. He didn’t enjoy sneaking around, feeling like a stranger in his own house, but the lack of sleep and sense of dread has settle deep into his bones that he became hyperaware of everything around him.

The door suddenly opens, causing him to freeze, like a deer caught in headlights as he comes face-to-face with his boyfriend, stone-faced, carrying a single plastic bag.

They stare each other down, before Rin rolls his eyes saying,

“We ran out of eggs.”

“I see.”

Silence descends on them like heavy fog, choking out the light, making it difficult to breath. In the end, it was Rin who turned away with a sigh, heading towards the kitchen to put the eggs away. He seemed to be thinking hard on something and Haru didn’t want to interrupt, giving Rin all the space he needed before things take a turn. Like a timer, counting down the seconds before the inevitable.

Rin was tense, Haru offhandedly notes, warily eyeing the way the other man knuckles had turned white from gripping the edges of the counter. He contemplated saying something, to get it over with, maybe even get into a screaming match if it comes down to it.

Haru’s never heard of silence being this loud before.

“Rin.”

Even he’s surprised that it was he who spoke first. At the sound of his name, the other man jerked his head up to look at Haru, eyes widening.

Vulnerable.

And it broke his heart, to know that he was the cause of it.

“Let’s talk now.”

-

Rin stares down at his hands, he can’t bear to look at the man beside him, for fear that his heart would break even further. He allows a hollow laugh to escape, “I told you once when we first started dating that you have my heart until you don’t want it anymore.” He lets out a shaky breath, “Well, I guess today’s the day, you’re finally giving it back.”

“I’m sorr –,”

“Is it because of Makoto?”

Haru looks at him confused, “What? No. This has nothing to do with him. Why would you even bring him up now?”

Rin snorts but when Haru doesn’t react, he stares at him, searching for something, any indication that he was joking or being lied to. Finding nothing to accuse Haru of this sudden infidelity, he puts his face in his hands and his whole body just sags. Haru hesitates, but allows himself to grasp Rin’s shoulder. To let Rin know that even in this less than ideal situation, he was still there. It surprised Haru that he wasn’t pushed away or rebuffed like he expected.

Rin says something but it was quiet and muffled by his hands.

“…Come again?”

Haru watches as Rin shifts his fingers a little, in order for an eye to peek at him, before removing his hands from his face completely, looking defeated. “He in love with you, you know.”

Haru opens his mouth to ask who, but was interrupted.

“I mean, I don’t blame him. Hell, I’m surprised you even said yes to me in the first place when he was right there, always by your side.”

Upon seeing Haru’s furrowed, confused look, Rin just shakes his head, “Never mind, forget I said anything.” But Haru finally catching on, wasn’t ready to drop it.

“Are we still talking Makoto? Well, of course love him, he’s my best friend.”

The look Rin gave him was withering, and silenced whatever Haru was about to say next, “Please tell me you’re joke. Or are you actually an idiot?” When Haru didn’t respond, Rin lets out a sardonic laugh, “God, sometimes you are just so oblivious, it’s so damn annoying.”

This only further to infuriate Haru, “Well if I’m so ‘damn annoying’ why did you even bother?”

“Gee, I don’t know Haru. Maybe because I’m in love with you?” Rin says venomously, “You know, like something you apparently don’t feel anymore. God, I wish you had made up your mind before this thing became serious.”

“You think I wanted this? I can’t control how I damn feel,” Haru bites back, annoyed that his integrity was being questioned.

With clenched fists, Rin stands, having had enough of this stifling conversation that was going nowhere, turned his back against the man who promised him the world, only to pull it from under his feet. “You know what’s funny?” Rin decides to say after a moment, “I came home last night to tell you that I qualified for the Australian swim team,” he laughs bitterly and it echoes throughout the suddenly too large house, “I going to ask if you wanted to come with me to Australia. Find a nice house by the beach and start a new adventure together.” He sighs, running a hand along his auburn hair, frustrated, “But life sure does love to _fuck_ me over.”

“Rin, I—,”

“I’ll be at Sousuke’s. I’ll text you later this week for when I’ll pick up my stuff.”  
  
Haru watches helplessly as the fight draining out of him, as Rin walks away, not knowing what to say, so Haru settles for the only thing he can say, “I’m sorry.”

Rin pauses, his hand gripping the door knob tightly before sighing, “Yeah, me too.”

-

Rin moves out of their house, well technically it was his house, the following days after the break up.

After two years of having someone to share their life and everything with to coming home to an empty house, all traces of their love.

Gone.

Just like that. It didn’t sit well with Haru. It made him restless.

Haru didn’t like change.

Never did.

Not when Rin moved to Australia all those years ago or when Makoto first brought up joining the basketball team back in the day.

Not when his parents left him alone in this old house.

A knock on his front door, spurred him out of his thoughts. The lights were out. How did anyone know that he was home?

In front of him stood Makoto, standing tall, against the light of the moon, holding something a bag of sorts. Haru stared at him blankly, confused.

“You should’ve called me,” was all the other man said, before he invites himself in and making himself at home. “Also since when do you lock your door? That was weird,” Makoto continues as he disappears into the kitchen. The sound of running water could be heard, but Haru doesn’t bother to check what his friend was doing, opting to fall back into the couch and stare at the ceiling instead, dissociating.

He only comes back to his senses when he feels the couch dip beside him and a steaming bowl of udon was placed in between his hands. Haru blinks, swiveling his head to see Makoto rolling his eyes at him, and pointedly look at the bowl then back at him, urging Haru to eat.

Haru nods slowly, murmuring a quick “Itadakimasu,” bringing the steaming broth to his lips, letting the warmth spread throughout his body then settling comfortably in his stomach. Beside him, Makoto was already slurping away into his own bowl.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Makoto says after a while, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, leaning back, allowing himself to sink into the couch.

“Not really.”

“Then okay,” he feels Makoto place a hand on his knee, it was warm and comforting, “Just know that I’m here whenever you’re ready.”

Suddenly his eyes feel wet, as a rush of affection surged through his heart, Haru quickly turns to face the window, pretending to look outside as he blinks away tears. He feels Makoto’s eyes on him, heavy with question and was silently glad that he didn’t ask.

Together, they sat there, side by side in silence, until dawn broke, painting the sky a pinkish hue. Signaling the start of a new day.

-

Makoto leaves sometime later with a light pat on his back with the promise of returning in a few hours. Haru had just nodded his head and watched as his friend disappeared. And as the door clicked shut, he welcomed loneliness like a long-lost friend.

-

The next few weeks comes and goes with Haru barely remember any of it. Makoto visits when he can, whether it was to force him out of the house or feed him. His phone has been blowing up with messages from friends and family, all asking if he was okay and if he needed anything. Haru ignores them all, not because he was selfish, but because he wouldn’t know what to say.

He goes to the swim club after hours, when the place was closed for the day and everyone has left. Old man, Sasabe-san, had lent him a key to come and go as he please to avoid any potential break-ins, to which Haru greatly appreciates. He walks the length of the pool, excitement thrumming in his veins, as he quickly strips of his clothes and jumps in regardless of frigid temperature of the water.

He loses track of time, swimming laps around the pool, letting the water wash his troubles away, cleansing him. Quieting the storm that rages in his mind.

Making him free.

-

He resurfaces to take several much-needed breaths of air, his lungs screaming at him for being underwater for such long periods of time, positioning himself on his back and just floats. Closing his eyes, he allows the water to carry him. Haru recons he could fall asleep just like this, but doesn’t go as far as to test that theory.

A cough pulls him out of his inner musing, body suddenly tense as he cranes his head back to see the intruder, almost drowning in the process as his body turns to lead when he sees the person on the other side.

There, Rin stood, hair up in a bun, hands shoved in his pants pockets. Haru watches, wide-eyed, as he approaches the edge of the pool, squatting down, motioning him to come closer.

Haru obliges, slowly kicking his feet as he makes his way over, stopping just short a few meters, treading. Waiting.

“I went by the house. You weren’t there.” Rin starts not meeting his eye, “Called you a few times, figured you were ignoring me.” When Haru doesn’t say anything, Rin sighs and continues, “Makoto suggested I come here.” He laughs to himself, “Can’t believe Sasabe-san gave you an extra key.”

“What do you want, Rin?”

Rin stares at him, as if searching for something, before shaking his head, “I’m leaving tomorrow.”

Haru’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t say anything. His heart at his throat.

“I just wanted to be the one to tell you,” Rin pushes off the floor to stand, placing both hands at the back of his hips to stretch. “Well then, if you have nothing to say, then I’ll take my leave,” he backs away.

“Wait!” Haru scrambles to get out of the pool, struggling slightly with getting his legs over the edge. He watches, relieved when Rin pauses, giving him time to catch up until the space between them disappeared. Haru shivers slightly as the night air hits his soaking wet form as Rin pushes at his chest, nudging him towards the where Haru’s abandoned belongings sat.

Haru allows himself to be led, scooping up the towel he had brought with him and draping it across his shoulders as Rin just rolls his eyes.

“You’re really leaving tomorrow?’

Rin nods.

“Will you come back?”

Rin shrugs, “Eventually.”

Silence falls between them, as they eye one another again. Then “…I’ll miss you” Haru finally says.

For the first time since Rin has showed up, he smiles.

-

They ended up talking for hours, there was a lot of screaming and even a bit of crying, on both their parts. The feeling was bittersweet, Haru muses, as he locks the swim club’s doors behind him, as he turns away to fall in step with his now ex-boyfriend. The two walk in silence now, occasionally bumping shoulders, neither one completely pulling away. They stop as they reach the junction, both eyeing each other, not wanting to be the first to speak.

In the end, it’s Rin who breaks the awkward air, grumbling about how he really needs to go home and finish packing. Haru nods, wishing him goodbye one last time.

“I’d hug it out with you, but your sopping wet right now,” Rin grimaces, as Haru shakes his head, water from his hair flying everywhere, “Ugh, gross.”

Haru finds himself laughing at the look on Rin’s face, “We’re good, right?”

Rin stares at him for a moment, his face a mixture of emotions, before he shakes his head and sighs, “Yeah, we’re good.”

-

They part ways, with Rin’s back to him, raising a hand to lazily wave, as Haru watches him walk away. 

It feels like a weight is lifted off his shoulders, as his face breaks out into a rare smile, watching the other man’s retreating figure disappear into the distance. 

Maybe today wasn’t so bad.

-

At the base of the steps leading to his house, a lone figure sits, obviously waiting for him. And when he catches sight of Haru, Makoto immediately is up on his feet, walking towards him with a purpose. 

Makoto grabs his shoulders, shaking them a little when he is within distance, worry plastered on his face. Apologies spilling from his lips. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I know you wanted your space and seeing Rin was the last thing you needed. But he was leaving tomorrow and I didn’t want you two to end things as they were—,“ 

“It’s fine,” Haru said, “We’re fine.”

“...and I know you didn’t want—eh? Eh? Eh?!” Makoto looks at him in disbelief, then hesitantly asks, “So? You two are good?” 

“As good as we’ll ever be.”

Makoto let’s out a sigh of relief, wiping sweat from his brow, “Well, I’m glad!” he flashes Haru a grin. 

To which Haru returns, tentatively, “Thank you,” and he truly means it. 

Makoto smiles at him, a small blush painting his cheeks, as he swings an arm around the shorter boy’s shoulders, allowing Haru to lead them inside the house, “You know I always got your back.” And Haru feels his heart go aflutter at those words. It was nice to know that when the storm came bringing with it the chaos and destruction, Makoto was there, steady, firm, and unwavering.

By his side.

**-**

Falling in love with his best friend was something Haru never accounted for. It’s been months since, he ended things with Rin, and he had managed to dig his way out of the rut he found himself. The following weeks after Rin’s departure, was rough for Haru, not just because of the break up, but because he lost a dear friend, a once permanent constant in his life. It broke his heart all over again for a different reason.

It helped having someone there constantly supporting and encouraging, really worked numbers on his already deflated self-esteem. Makoto made sure he to always check up on him despite their different schedules, whether it was through text or surprise visits. Which was what was happening right now, as Haru takes a glance at the living room, where said boy was flipping through channels, looking for something to watch while he was busy making them lunch.

Makoto had asked him previously if he wanted any help in the kitchen, constantly looking over his shoulder, ready to assist at a moments noticed. Haru had gotten annoyed at him and banished him from the kitchen, knowing full well that while Makoto was great at a lot of things, cooking wasn’t one of them. Which was fine, Haru enjoyed cooking enough for it not to be a bother.

At some point Makoto wandered back in at the kitchen, peeking his head with a sheepish smile to ask if there was anything he could do. Shaking his head, Haru rolls his eyes, and tells him to set the table as he was just about to finish up, watching as Makoto’s face brightens, finally having been given a task. The man was never good at just sitting still and letting other people do things for him.

The thought brought a smile to his face as Haru chances another look at his longtime friend. His heart suddenly picking up speed. “He’s beautiful,” Haru thinks offhandedly, causing him to pause at what he was doing. Haru blinks, confused at the fleeting thought, as he shakes his head trying to focus back on his task.

Makoto appears at his peripheral, asking what he wanted to drink, and Haru finds himself staring at him in shock, his brain at a disconnect with mouth. Makoto gives him a concerned look, asking if he was alright.

“Never better,” Haru manages to ground out, as he looks away, forcing himself to concentrate on the fish he was frying. He clears his throat, “Water’s fine.”

Makoto’s accepts his answer, not pushing the subject, even though Haru knows that he wants to judging by the way he stares at Haru for a moment longer than necessary. Makoto walks away, after grabbing some cups off the cupboard, leaving Haru alone to struggle with his inner thoughts.

And suddenly he knows, why he is feeling this way. He’s only felt this way for one other person. Haru is pretty sure he stops breathing

Well, shit.

**-**

Haru does what any rational person would do in a situation like this.

Call his ex-boyfriend about his current predicament the moment Makoto takes his leave.

RIn answers at the third ring, “What.” annoyance clear on his voice, but this doesn’t deter Haru in the slightest, already been the receiving end to the man’s exasperation multiple times.

“I like Makoto,” he whispers like a prayer, eyeing the front door almost expecting Makoto to walk back in, having heard him confession.

Rin grunts in his ear, “Congrats, hon,” a yawn, clearly bored with this whole conversation “Don’t forget to mail me your wedding invitation.” 

“Rin, I’m serious.”

“So am I.” Haru can hear Rin sighing into the phone, “Look I’m glad it’s finally worked out between you two. It’s been a long time coming.”

“What.”

“What do you mean ‘what?’”

A pause.

“…dating? You two are dating, right?” filtered Rin’s voice, suddenly full of uncertainty.

“No?”

Haru brows furrows when hears Rin groan on the other end, he could feel his frustration through the phone, but doesn’t get where its coming from but Rin continues, “Wow, I can’t believe that at one point I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

Haru frowns, affronted, “Oi, don’t act like it was all bad,” as Rin’s laughter rings in his ears, “Yeah, you’re right, we had some _good_ times,” Haru could just picture Rin’s self-satisfied smirk, “But really, what going on with you two?”

-

  
  


Dating, Rin had said so casually, like he expected it to happen.

Ridiculous.

Absolutely ridiculous.

Makoto was his friend.

His best friend.

And yet, why did his heart ache at the thought of Makoto refusing to see more than friendship. How he wished he was as confident as Rin’s was saying that he should just go for it. The two of them had built a friendship ever since the first time they had met, Haru didn’t want to ruin that. He doesn’t want to put that kind of pressure on Makoto.

He had said all this to Rin, who said just ends up calling him an idiot.

“When are you seeing him next?” Rin asks, after ignoring Haru’s very valid concerns.

“Nagisa’s party this weekend.”  
  


“Cool, tell him then.”

“No way--,”

“Bye,” and the call ends.

Haru groans in frustration, throwing his phone on the couch, watching it bounce around before setting just at the edge, thankfully not falling. He pulls at his hair and lets out a frustrated yell.

-

The shirt he was wearing felt tighter than usual, tugging at the collar uncomfortably to adjust it, his other hand knocking again on Makoto’s door. He shifts his weight from foot to foot, feeling restless. He had the sudden urge to check his phone again to see if Makoto had replied to the text saying that he was outside, his hand twitched as he reached into his back pockets just to check one last time—

The door opens. “Hey,” Makoto says, peeking from within looking sheepishly with his wet hair plastered across his forehead. “Uh, come in, come in,” he continues, opening the door wider and turning around to let Haru through. “Sorry, I didn’t expect you to show up on time,” Makoto rambles as he disappears further into the house, frantically towel drying his hair. Haru dutifully follows him, trying his best not to stare as he notices the way Makoto’s shirt outlined his muscled back or how his dark jeans hugged his firm ass and long legs.

He feels his throat go dry as he does his best to clear it. “Where are the kids?” he tries to ask nonchalantly, as he stops in front of the refrigerator, making himself comfortable as he rummages for a drink.

Makoto peeks his head from his place in the bathroom, toothbrush hanging from his lips, he takes it out and grunts, “Parents took them out to see grandma, they’re gonna be gone the entire weekend.”

“Ah,” Haru responds, making a grab at a can of beer at the back of fridge after pushing aside tupperwares of leftovers. He pops the tab and takes a sip, welcoming the bitter taste as he settles on one of the seats in their dining table, taking his phone out to keep himself busy as he hears the sound of a blow dryer going off.

Makoto emerges a few minutes later, his hands running through his hair, as he tries to disperse the remnants of hair gel all over his head, wiping the excess on the back of his jeans. “Oh, you already started without me,” He jokes, as he opens the fridge to grab a can for himself. Makoto pauses, as if remembering something and peers up at Haru asking, “Did you eat yet? I don’t want you dying on me at the party just because you forgot to eat dinner.” He laughs.

Haru rolls his eyes and looks away, “I’m fine, I ate before I came here.” Makoto smiles, pleased, as he makes his way over to the other man, playfully nudging at him once he sits down. “Oh, come on Haru-chan, don’t be like that. We have seen each other in a while,” Makoto teases. When the other man doesn’t respond, Makoto sighs, “Look, I’m sorry I’ve been kinda neglecting you, works been rather busy these days.”

“S’fine,” Haru replies after a moment, hands gripping at the can in front of him, “I’ve missed having you around, that’s all.”

Makoto’s eyebrow scrunches together as he looked pained for a moment before his features smooths and then he’s back to smiling, “At least we’re together now and we gonna have a great time tonight at Nagisa’s party!”

“Ah.”

-

Haru can already feel the buzz fading as they make their way up the stairs after being buzzed into Nagisa’s apartment. He makes an offhand comment about wanting a drink once they get there, to which Makoto agrees, having complained earlier that he needed this party to unwind from the hellish week he’s had.

Rei greets them at the door, already going off about how the two never make time to come see him anymore to which Makoto laughs good naturally and Haru politely smiles at before they are ushered in. Looking around, Haru notes that they weren’t the last ones to arrive, noting a few familiar faces here and there, some upbeat music was blaring from the speakers, as people were standing around laughing, holding onto various cups and bottles.

Someone hands him a drink and Haru eyes it suspiciously before taking a sip, pleasantly surprised at the fruity flavor, and downs most of it in one gulp. Makoto laughs at his side, clasping his back good-naturally and telling him to slow down.

Nagisa shows his face a few minutes later, with a loud “Haru-chan! Mako-chan!” throwing both arms around the older men’s shoulders, forcing them to bend down to his level, “You made it!” he says all teeth and laughs, as Haru tries to pry the blonde’s arm off him. Nagisa pouts at him, feigning insult, before turning his full attention to Makoto, who was more than willing to accept his affection as he rubs his face against the material of the other man’s shirt as he continues to hug the older man, spouting out about missing his dear friends. Makoto, bless him, goes along with it, hugs the smaller man just as enthusiastically as Haru tries to put as much distance between them.

Noticing the other man’s slowly retreating, Nagisa looks back, pouting, “Haru-chan! Mako-chan! We’re about to start a round of drinking games and we need more players. Come on let’s go! Go! Go!”

-

By the sixth shot, Haru’s head is spinning or was it the room itself. He feels someone grab onto his shoulders, lean in and whisper something in his ear. What was said? Haru wouldn’t even know, as the music drowns out all the noise and chatter. He feels himself being nudged forward, and he obediently starts walking. Haru thinks he sees Rei waving at him and waves back, a relaxed grin plastered on his face before he feels hands grab onto his wrist pulling him away.

By the time his head stops spinning and his vision somewhat clears, he realizes that he’s leaning against a railing, throwing up into the ocean. He’s at the docks near his house and someone is soothingly running their hands along his back. His eyes follow the length of the arm and wasn’t surprised to find Makoto attached to the end of it.

Makoto, noticing Haru looking at him from his pitiful state, shoves a bottle of water into his hands, “Drink,” he says, as he watches the Haru struggling to grip the bottle properly before tossing it back. “Slowly please or you’re gonna end up throwing it back up,” Makoto says patiently.

Haru grunts, but does what he’s told, until the bottle is empty. Makoto hums beside him, taking the object from him and replacing it with his own hand. “You good?” Makoto asks, as Haru slowly gets up from his hunched position, one hand gripping tightly on the railing as to not lose his balance. He takes a deep breath letting the salty air into his lungs and bringing him some clarity. Haru nods after a few deep breaths, squeezing Makoto’s hand back, “Yeah.”

“Let’s go.”

-

They make decent time walking back to Haru’s house, the fresh air really helping clear the haze. He was definitely still tipsy, but at a comfortable level, just barely toeing the line of being drunk, which was fine. Makoto’s hand was still warm against his, and he couldn’t help but change the grip, so that their fingers now interlaced. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Makoto raise an eyebrow in question, but doesn’t comment or pull away.

They reach the house, with Makoto unlocking the door and making sure that Haru doesn’t trip up the step and fall flat on his face, Haru finds himself being pushed into the bathroom, being told to strip and brush his teeth while Makoto goes to find him some clothes that weren’t stained by vomit. Haru obeys until he’s left only in his underwear, absently kicking at his clothes on the ground, as he rids his mouth from it’s horrible taste.

Haru wanders into his bedroom a few minutes later to find Makoto with his back turned to him, digging through piles of unfolded laundry, looking for some clothes that they could both sleep in. He finds himself leaning heavily against the door frame, admiring Makoto’s amazing backside, his eyes taking in the way his muscles contracts and relaxes and how good his ass looked while bending over.

Haru feels his legs move on its own accord until he stop a few inches from where Makoto is. As if sensing him, Makoto straightens, holding up an old shirt, and turns to him, “Hey is this okay—,”

Haru kisses him.

Makoto lips were chapped and warm against his, as he presses closer, his left hand coming up to cradle Makoto’s face as Haru angles the other man’s head downwards. Makoto makes a noise of surprise, as Haru lazily runs his tongue along the seams of his lips, biting softly, until Makoto tentatively opens his mouth to him, slowly kissing him back.

Haru hums in approval, sliding his tongue into the other man’s mouths, as he felt Makoto’s hands settle on his waist, lightly caressing the skin. His head feeling hazy, as Haru felt his eyes slip close as he lost himself in the feeling of Makoto’s hands and tongue, moaning when he felt hands on his naked waist wander lower to give his underwear-clad behind a light squeeze.

Makoto pulls away first, “I wanted to do that for a while now,” he says, trying to catch his breath, face red from lack of oxygen or embarrassment, Haru isn’t sure.

“Me too.”

This time it was Makoto who leans down first in an open mouth kiss, his tongue darting out, wet and warm sliding against Haru’s. as he lets out a throaty moan.

Haru pulls away suddenly, gently pushing Makoto into the bed behind him, as he clambers on top of Makoto, straddling him. He pulls at Makoto’s shirt, until the other man gets with the program and takes it off to reveal an amazing set of pectorals and abs. A thick happy trail running down the middle of a v cut that has featured in his fantasies in the recent months.

Makoto has always been fit, but damn, he couldn’t wait to get his hands on him.

Haru wasted no time and licks a stripe along Makoto’s neck, feeling him melt at the contact, and continuing to suck lightly on a particular spot just above his collarbone. Haru feels a light tug on his hair, spurring him on to suck harder. He leans back to admire his handy work, and shifts to find a fresh patch of skin, sucking and licking until he reaches mid-chest. Haru looks up, satisfied, to see Makoto pressing the back of his hand to his mouth, looking embarrassed, his cheeks tinged pink.

Feeling bold, Haru grounds himself against Makoto’s lap, loving the way Makoto hisses as Haru’s arousal rubbed against his own. He was definitely sober enough to realize that this was a bad idea, but the way Makoto was rutting against him, made all rational thoughts go out the window, as Haru focuses his attention on Makoto’s chest, his hand cupping them, barely fitting into his palms and giving them a hard squeeze, thumbing at Makoto’s nipples until they pebble, causing the man to moan and buck more into him. This only encourages Haru to leans in, nipping at the soft skin and scraping his teeth over the sensitive bud. He bites gently and then laves his tongue over that hardened bud, sucking and making Makoto squirm before moving over to the other one and repeating the same motions.

It definitely has been a while since he got laid, not since the whole Rin fiasco, and from the looks of it and the way Makoto was moaning under him like a bitch in heat, the other man hadn’t either.

Haru trails his hands down, loving the way Makoto’s abs contracted as his hands skim them briefly on the way down to unbutton his pants, pulling them down and tossing it aside. He palms at Makoto’s growing erection, noting smugly at the small wet spot in his underwear. He hooks his fingers underneath Makoto’s boxer briefs as his lover lifts his hips up momentarily to allow Haru to pull them down in one swoop.

Haru’s eyes widened, as Makoto’s cock sprang forward. Makoto was thick, but not too thick. Heavy and hard against his stomach.

Haru licks his lips.

Damn.

“…Haru.”

He looks up at the sound of his name, Makoto sprawled out on his sheets, flushed and breathing heavily, looking like a wet dream.

Haru feels a tug at his own underwear and wastes no time in take it off. Now both of them were fully naked, breathing hard. Makoto shifts from his position on the bed, lifting himself up with his elbows for a better look.

Haru gives Makoto a questioning, silently question.

Makoto nods.

There was no going back.

Haru grips his shaft to ease some of the pressure off, thumbing at his own slit, slick with pre-cum. With his other hand, he reaches down to give grasp Makoto’s cock, giving it a quick jerk, loving the mews that came as he hands went up and down his thick length. Haru tightens his grip as Makoto starts frantically bucking into his hand, as more pre-cum so leaks from the head, making it easier for Haru to slide his palm down with no resistance.

Makoto comes without warning, spurting out all over his stomach and Haru’s hands as Makoto allows his head to fall back against the pillows, clearly spent, breathing hard.

Haru watches, fascinated, watching the rise and fall of his partner’s chest, slick with sweat and cum. He found himself licking his lips, at the pretty picture Makoto made, sprawled out on his bed like that.

“Here let me,” Makoto whispers, pulling Haru out of his inner musings, when he felt a hand on his own cock, hissing as Makoto jerked at it roughly bringing him to the edge.

Haru collapses on top of Makoto, burying his face against the other man’s neck, taking in the stench of sex and sweat. He feels Makoto’s hands on his back, lightly tracing patterns on it as he shifts them into a more comfortable position. His eyes heavy as sleep slowly sinks its claws, dragging him under. The last thing he remembers is feeling a soft kiss on his temple and a tickle in his ears as Makoto whispers words he doesn’t hear. 

-

For a second, when Haru wakes up, everything seemed fine. He opens his eyes with a groan, as sunlight streams through his open blinds, his arm moving to shield his eyes when he felt a movement. Haru freezes, shocked, as he turns his head to see Makoto’s wide back next to his, blanket barely covering his naked torso. 

Oh.

Haru shoots up from bed, which made his head spin and the rest of him ache at the sudden shift in his center of gravity. Last night’s events rushing back to him even though the details were blurry and out of order. He remembers looking down at Makoto’s face, sweat dripping down his face and he remembers coming, as Makoto sinks into him, bare chest to bare chest, breathing hard. But most of all, he remembers Makoto pulling him close and wrapping his arms around him, whispering goodnight as he draws the blanket over their naked sweaty bodies.

Haru buries his face into his hands, horrified, as he takes another tentative glance at the sleeping body beside him. Yeah, he sure fucked this one up, he thinks sardonically, as he carefully shifts away from the bed, trying to minimize his movements as to not wake his companion. Once out, he makes a beeline to the bathroom, barely making it in time before nausea sets in and he empties his stomach onto the toilet, feeling the acidic burn of whatever alcoholic drink he had consumed the night before.

Once the nausea settles, wipes his mouth with is arm, frowning at the acrid smell, scratching absentmindedly at his stomach and grimacing at the dried flakes of semen that had settled there.

He desperately needed a shower.

-

Haru takes a tentative peek into the bedroom, relieved to see that Makoto was still fast asleep, and quickly gets dressed. Pulling on a random shirt and some sweatpants, he was relieved to find his keys and his wallet still inside his jeans pocket from the night before. His phone was dead, so he didn’t bother to take that with him, as he stepped out of his apartment.

He needs to clear his head.

-

Haru curses as he fumbles with the key, while trying to balance four heavy grocery bags on each arm. He enters, and stops as soon as he caught sight of Makoto, freshly showered sitting comfortably on his couch, and wearing his clothes. His eyes widened, immediately drawn towards the varying degrees of pink and purple bruises that litter along Makoto’s neck and collarbone. He swallows thickly, feeling himself go red.

He clears his throat.

Once.

Twice.

Until he was able to forces out a, “You’re still here,” then turning around towards the direction of the kitchen to put the groceries away. Haru feels heavy eyes on the back of his head that he tries so hard to ignore.

“Yeah,” came Makoto’s voice, much closer now, Haru feels the goosebumps erupt on his arms, as he tries to steady his breathing, “You didn’t even feed me,” Makoto continues.

Haru glances back, unsure of whether he was relieved that Makoto didn’t bring up the events of last night. He rolling his eyes, “I’ll feed you now,” Haru replies, “Coffee?”

Makoto hums in agreement, “I’ll get it started,” he says, sliding past Haru, hands lightly brushing his back causing Haru to involuntary shiver, and moves to grab the kettle, filling it up with water, and switching it on.

Haru chances a glance at the man beside him, and looking away when Makoto caught his eye, giving him a reassuring smile, “I’m making rice and mackerel, if that’s okay,” he eventually mumbles.

“Sounds good,” Makoto says, “Why don’t you get that started, while I finish this up?” as he grabs one of the grocery bags and starts putting its contents away. Haru stares blankly at him, before nodding slowly, moving away towards the counter get the rice started.

“How are you feeling?” Makoto asks, after a moment of silence.

“Fine,” Haru said, “How are you?”

“Good,” came Makoto’s reply, “Not as hung over as I was expecting. I took a shower, by the way. Hope you don’t mind.”

“That’s fine,” Haru said, his back turned to him, as he starts cutting up vegetables to go along with the fish, letting the noise drown out the beating of his heart.

In no time, the fish was fried and the rice was cook and Haru didn’t have a reason to ignore Makoto. He gripped on the edge of the counter to steel his nerves before opening his mouth.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Haru blurts out, the same time Makoto says, “I want to do this more.”

Haru immediately spins around, mouth agape, “What.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Makoto says, squinting down at him, “What do you mean you can’t?”

Haru crosses his arm, looking defensive and feeling awkward, completely out of his element. He looks away, ashamed, “I just can’t.”

“Haru, hey—,“ Makoto tries to catch his eye, “No, come on, Haru. Give me an explanation.”

“I don’t have to explain myself,” Haru said.

“Yeah, you do!” Makoto cries, a little frustrated, “You can’t just say something like _that_ and well—I need to know what you mean!”

Haru sighs and tries to meet Makoto’s eye before running a hand through his hair in frustration, pulling it in different directions, “It’s not working out for me,” he says after a while.

“Oh.”

Suddenly Haru feels angry, “Oh, don’t look at me like that that! Stop it! I’m sorry if I can’t be your booty call or whatever. That’s just not _me._ ”

“I—what?” Makoto frowns, hurt by the sudden rejection and albeit a little insulted, “I’m allowed to be bummed out that the guy I like doesn’t like me back.” Makoto lets out a frustrated breath.

“What.”

Makoto glances at him, grimacing at the other man. Of all times to be aloof. “Don’t act like you didn’t know.”

Haru stares at him, wide-eyed. “What,” he repeats again, “You like me?”

“Been in love with you my whole life actually, thanks for asking.”

Haru continues to gape at him, barely able to process the words that were being said. His last two brain cells desperately rubbing together to form a thought, “You—what?” he says lowly.

Makoto leans against the opposite counter, arms folding across his chest, defensively, “It’s not a big deal.” He tries to backtrack a little, “I really like you okay? It—I…I figured you never did, but it just sucks to actually know now.”

“I do,” Haru grounds out, once his brain was capable of formulating words, “I do…like you.” He is sure that his face is a deep shade of red as he says those words, and watches in awe as Makoto’s forlorn face visibly brightens as a wide grin stretches across his face. Haru shrugs, nonchalantly, uncomfortable, “Yeah.”

Makoto runs a hand through his face, absolutely shocked at the words that he was hearing, he draws closer, tentatively, until he was right in front of Haru, hands coming around to grip the counter on either side, essentially trapping Haru, so he couldn’t run away. He feels his cheeks hurt from smiling so much. “Did I hear that right? You _like_ me?”

“Yeah.”

Makoto immediately leans forward and kisses him, his hands settling on Haru’s hips, pulling him closer. He feels Haru shift his body closer towards him, pressing his lips back against him to deepen the kiss, his hands coming up to grip the base of Makoto’s neck. They stay like that for a while, just kissing and breathing each other in.

Makoto pulls back first, and leans his forehead against Haru’s. He laughs slightly as Haru glares up at him, placing a tender kiss in the space between Haru’s eyebrows. He couldn’t help himself, and continues to trail kisses along the side of the shorter man’s face, his jaw, the corners of his lips, only pulling back when Haru tries to catch his mouth.

Haru, annoyed at being teased, let’s out a noise of frustrations. The hands around Makoto’s neck, reaching up to grasp the other man’s hair, pulling him down for a proper kiss. “Stop smiling, I’m trying to kiss you and it’s in the way,” Haru complains against Makoto’s lips.

Makoto only laughs, “I can’t stop even if I wanted to.”

-

**FIN.**

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by love island season 5 where curtis breaks up with amy and my worms for brains went “!!!” rinharu angst time bc someone telling you you’re not good enough sucks :/ 
> 
> ngl writing this made me realize makoharu is actually cute, but my pride won’t allow me to completely jump ship. 
> 
> damn, i really wrote smut. smh.
> 
> -
> 
> let me know what you think! i’d love to hear from you :)


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